Children with Autism and their Need for Routine
A child with autism needs routine. They like to do the same things every day and do them the same way. A child with autism feels comfortable and safe if they can predict what will happen and if they know what to expect. Many parents of children with autism learn the hard way that last minute surprises or changes in schedule can cause their child to have a meltdown. It is very important as the holidays are approaching to revisit these basic needs of your loved ones on the autism spectrum.Holidays Should be Fun, Not Stressful
Right now we are entering the holiday season with Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas and New Year’s right around the corner. Families will be traveling, having family get-togethers and exchanging gifts. Holidays are a busy and hectic time for everyone and they are especially stressful for anyone with a child who has autism. We want holidays to be a time to create lasting memories of fun times…not stressful events filled with tears and meltdowns. But for families with children on the autism spectrum these next few months can be bewildering and exhausting.Holidays are Stressful — Especially for Children with Autism
We all feel stress during the holidays. Besides our regular jobs, now we have to shop for food, plan for travel, and buy gifts. We never know the right gift and we worry about what to buy. We run around looking for the perfect purchase. Think about it…we are adults who do not have autism and WE get stressed! Think of our poor children who have autism or Asperger’s syndrome. As parents of children with autism we can alleviate many of the stresses and problems caused by the lack of routine and commotion of the holidays if we prepare in advance and do some planning. Below are some holiday tips which I hope will create a more enjoyable holiday experience. Happy Holidays!1. Prepare, Prepare, Prepare
Start preparing your child with autism early. Show them images of the destination you will be traveling to…the hotel, or a picture of Aunt Mary’s house or whatever. Allow your child to understand where you will be going, when you will be leaving and what you will be doing once you arrive. Create a calendar of events…a sort of travel itinerary. Even if you are not traveling, this is still a good idea because routines will change. List what your child will be doing each day during the holiday, who they will be seeing, what time you will be leaving and arriving and how long you will stay. Be as detailed and specific as possible. The goal here is to allow your child to understand what will happen and to get used to the idea before the day arrives.
2. Build Excitement
Building up the excitement of the trip before you leave will help your child. Work with your child so that they are looking forward to the trip. Post a countdown timer on the refrigerator…it can be as simple as a yellow sticky pad with numbers counting down the days until you leave. Each day your child peels off one of the days (10 day until Thanksgiving, 9 day until Thanksgiving, etc.). Plan to have a special treat ready for your child…something they like. Perhaps a new toy, a favorite food or some activity. Once they arrive, they will receive the special treat. This can help motivate your child and create a positive attitude toward the trip.
3. Making Airline Travel Pleasant for a Child with Autism
Planes can be especially troubling for a child with autism. The seats are not very comfortable, they are VERY noisy and there is a lot of hustle and bustle getting on and off the plane. If possible, go to the airport in advance and walk around. This is especially important if your child has never been on an airplane or if he or she has not been on one lately.
Some airports will allow you to actually go through the security line in advance of your travel date. This way your child will understand what will happen. They may have to be patted down and have their bags searched…something that can cause a meltdown if the child is not prepared.
On the day of the flight, tell the flight attendant that you need to board first. Explain that your child has autism and need extra time. The airlines understand this need and are typically very accommodating. Bring snacks, books, headphones (the nose cancelling type are great) and soothing music for your child to listen to. Be prepared to keep your child entertained on the flight. Depending on the age of your child entertainment may vary from coloring books to Gameboy players.
You may also want to select seats either near the front or near the back of the plane to be closer to the restrooms.
4. Tips to Make Long Car Rides Enjoyable a Child with Autism
How long will you have to drive to get where you are going? Will traffic be heavy and make the journey longer than usual? Long drives can be very difficult for children with autism. They can get impatient and have a tough time sitting still.
Especially on trips that last longer than 2 hours planning is critical. If you know that you will be traveling a long distance, try to leave early. The more refreshed and alert your child is, the easier it will be for them to be patient and happy. Another option is to leave late at night where your child can sleep in the back seat.
The goal here is to make the traveling as comfortable as possible for your child. A favorite blanket, pillow or toy is important. Also, consider breaking your trip into pieces if you will have to travel long distances. Drive for two hours then plan on a rest stop…perhaps lunch or a visit to a park where your child can run around and burn off some energy.
The noise from traffic can be brutal for a child who is sensitive to loud noises. Again, noise cancelling headphones are great. I have a pair from Sony that are fairly inexpensive (I just checked on Amazon.com and there are pairs for around $30). And bring your child’s favorite music or a movie. If you have a DVD player (many notebook computers will play movie/DVDs) bring it. A familiar movie can be one of the best ways for your child to pass the time during a long car ride.
5. Hotel Tips for an Enjoyable Stay
This can be one of the most challenging parts of a long vacation. Children with autism often have a very tough time changing where they sleep. The bed is different, the room is not the same, the pillow is too high or too low…everything is DIFFERENT! And different is bad.
To help your child with autism get used to a changing sleep environment, start before you leave. Make it a fun event. Pretend you will be staying in a “hotel room” where the room is another room in your own house. Perhaps it is a brother’s or sister’s room. Maybe they sleep on a cot in your room. Perhaps it is an air mattress on the living room floor. The goal is to get your child used to sleeping in a different bed in an unfamiliar room. If they can handle this, this will help them cope when you actually travel.
For additional tips to make every day a more enjoyable experience for both your child and your family, read my book, The Autism Survival Guide. It is full of tips and practical suggestions from moms who have succeeded in raising a happy and successful child with autism.SHARE YOUR EXPERIENCES! Comment below and tell other moms your tips and suggestions!
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I enjoy and appreciate the information, anything to help my son and my own understanding of what life is like for Nicholas. It also helps me educate my son's teacher and EA which this process is ongoing and at times very frustrating.
My name is Matt Turner from Australia. I have a 6 y.o. with autism (fairly mild). I found your work insightful and helpful - my wife is a doctor and spent many hours wading through medical texts to no avail. Our son Finley Turner is a very bright, friendly, healthy, unconditionally loved boy who can lose it sometimes. The guide helped us understand what to do and it helps him as much as us. Thanks for the work and I have recommended you to other parents in similar situations.
I found your articles to be extremely helpful...I applaud you for sharing your story and helping others who are going through similar situations. Thank you for sharing your story.
I was pleasantly surprised by the consistency, and thoroughness of the topics. I think this is a valuable tool. I think this was a valuable tool for me because as a parent we all need a kick in the butt and stay on task, constantly fighting, updating and communicating with caregivers, teachers and finding tools for our children. Keep it up!
I definitely found your information helpful. My grandson was just diagnosed this summer. He is very smart and sweet. We will continue to be an advocate for him thanks to your information. I am including a picture of him. 
"Hi my son of 3 and a half years was diagnosed today, I had concerns so prior to his appointment I researched it and joined your newsletter. The information was so helpful and very supportive it was almost like having a counselor as I opened each email I felt like some one really understood my situation so thanks you so much for that, it's a very hard thing to accept and you do feel alone but with the letters I was given inspiration and hope that not everything was going to be doom and gloom it was and still is a lifeline.
"I have found the newsletters very valuable. I have forwarded them to teachers who work with Matthias when they apply."
I have been reading your Newsletter for a while now. Find attached a picture of my family. Joel is the little boy in glasses. Thanks for putting a smile on me. My knowledge and support is increasing. I feel more positive towards helping my son than ever.
I am Ben's grandmother and see him every single day. He is a joy. What your info does is help us to understand the melt downs that quite frankly we have always put down to the meds that he takes. We have proved your theory of a strict regime for Ben. Each letter adds to our knowledge. Keep it up dear friend. We learn from you every day and will I am sure continue to learn. God Bless you.
4. December 2011 at 12:33 pm
Craig,
Thank you very much. Your articles are very helpful.
24. November 2011 at 11:32 am
Hi
We take our son’s pillow and a large but thin blanket that will fold up small with us. Then he can wrap the blanket around him, so he only feels his own blanket, and not the sheets that are at the new place. He loves having the “hug” of his own blanket in different places
26. November 2011 at 5:59 pm
Great idea! I remember when my son was small he loved to be wrapped up like a burrito. Wrapped up really tight. For some reason he felt safe and secure when he was all wrapped up in a soft blanket.
23. November 2011 at 2:35 am
I think to help an autistic child this type of counseling is necessary, but in Bangladesh people aren’t aware about it, still we are Superstitious. I hope Craig’s support and his activities are impressive worldwide.
23. November 2011 at 2:31 am
Autistic children are not a burden; proper care can help them in the long run so don’t avoid them, always support them.
22. November 2011 at 3:38 am
These are great idea for spending time during the five days holiday. Every topic is very useful for giving your ideas about autisum. Please send another important ideas for us. Thank you very much.
22. November 2011 at 12:57 pm
Thanks for the kind words. I will continually provide additional ideas and tips as moms send them to me and as I continue to do my research. Make sure you read the tips and articles in the right column.
Given that our kids will be eating a lot of foods that they do not normally eat, you should check out this article,
Autism Treatment for My Child – What Should They Eat?. It has some helpful hints on nutrition.
21. November 2011 at 9:02 pm
Dear Craig,
Its awaful but I am living in Pakistan and working almost 2000 Km away from my family. My child is of seven years, still cant speak and have difficulty in communication. My wife is alone and also taking care of other children, taking care of house and other family matters.
We have started speach therpay but progess is slow, i have even less time to take my kid for travelling but well follow your advice. please guide about speach therapy.
Regards
22. November 2011 at 1:14 pm
I am sorry to hear that you have so little time to spend with your wonderful child. I will work on writing more often on speech therapy. In the mean time, read this article, Alternative Means of Communicating Can Help Nonverbal Autistic Kids.
24. November 2011 at 11:35 am
i watched a tv program the other day where they were using tables (ipads) to help the kids be able to talk easier. They had an app that used pictures and the kids would touch the pictures and the app would put the sentence together and say it outloud for them! It was very cool! They were using it in schools too, and found that a lot of the kids were responding really well with it, and that their knowledge of words was much larger than the teachers had previously thought!
22. November 2011 at 1:54 pm
Hi Mohammad I read your mail and my heart went out to you. Have you heard of the Son-Rise program. It has helped many non-verbal and verbbal children with autism. Many non-verbal children have started to use language when doing Son-Rise. Just google it and you will be amazed! Best Wishes Dee
25. November 2011 at 6:24 am
Hi, i am in the same predicament as you, but remember follow the diet no gluten or casein…! the kids are allergic to the enzimes… this means no milk or wheat…
greating
Gustavo Ramirez
21. November 2011 at 8:43 pm
Hi Craig,my Roberta is 8 years.The information you keep giving to me and my husband is very helpful–we understand her better and we are living a more fulfilling life together.May the Lord richly reward you. Brenda Kimbugwe,Kampala,Uganda,Africa
22. November 2011 at 12:13 am
Thank you for your kind words.
21. November 2011 at 4:55 pm
Traveling with my son’s favorite pillow is just too much but I have found that bring his favorite pillowcase makes a “new” pillow not so hard to deal with. I just lay it across the pillow and he seems more relaxed.
21. November 2011 at 11:40 pm
Great idea! It may be that the tactile feel of the pillow case is all your son needs to feel comforted. Thanks for sharing.